You can't erase the past
by grangertash
Summary: Sam & Freddie haven't seen eachother in years. What happens when a school reunion lets the past that Sam has tried so hard to forget come crashing back. Seddie.
1. Prologue: Tell me

_**There's a power cut so I have nothing else to do than to write a fic! Thank god for chargeable laptops lol. This one's a Seddie. **_

"Come on Sam, it might be fun to see everyone again!"

Her reassurances were not a comfort to her. She was dreading this, at first she planned not to go but when she went to make up some excuse she just couldn't bring herself to do it. As much as she hated to admit it she wanted to see him again. She had tried to mask over what had happened, not even Carly knew about her past with him. She bowed to herself to keep it a secret from everyone, what happened was between her and Freddie.

"Sam your shaking" Carly laughed feeling her friend's hands "What's there to be worried about?"

"I'm not shaking" Sam said defensively "I just get nervous when I'm...driving"

Carly rolled her eyes "Is is because you might see Jonas again?"

"Of course not, I was 14! I'm so over it"

"Well then what is it then?"

Sam knew Carly would never let this go, years of friendship had taught her that. She quickly made up an excuse.

"Well...it has been almost 10 years since we left school. I mean I'm nervous about what people might think of me"

"Is that what your all hyped up about" Carly giggled "You have nothing to worry about. You have a great job, a wonderful apartment and you're looking hotter than ever. Trust me; people will be more than impressed!"

"Yeah" Sam breathed "I guess your right"

The knot in her stomach was getting larger the closer they came to the reunion. Sam could hardly concentrate, she kept picturing his face. The way his dimples would grow deeper when he smiled, the way his eyes lit up when he found some new tech stuff or the way his lips felt against hers...

"SAM! PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD, WE'RE HERE"

She slammed the breaks. Surely enough they were back at the very building she had spent most of her childhood asleep in. It hadn't changed at all. It brought all the memories back, some she would rather be locked away forever.

"Let's get going" Carly preppy voice called "Wait! Is that...Freddie?"

Sam looked up in an instant. She could feel tears starting to creep out of her eyes. It was most definitely Freddie. He had grown a lot since she last saw him, his hair was a litter longer and he had a little stubble on his face. He looked amazing. Looking at him again brought all the memories flooding back to her, the bickering, the fights and the kissing...

"Sam? Sam?" Carly's worried voice called to her "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Right then she realized that she couldn't do it. She had spent so long doing her best to move on. She had tried so hard to forget about her past and now this silly reunion was going to ruin everything. That was it, she was turning the car around and going back to the safety of her was apartment. The only problem was convincing Carly.

"Seriously Sam, you're really scaring me. You look like you've just seen a ghost or something"

Sam looked at Carly; her face was stricken with love and concern. It was time she told her the whole story. Carly deserved that much.

"I'm going to tell you something" Sam stuttered "But you have to promise not to say a word to anyone"

"Yeah, of course Sam. You can tell me anything"

"Right" Sam said taking a deep breath. "It all started our first day of senior year..."

_**-- Ok, well, what did you think? From now on the story will be telling the past from Sam's POV. So don't get confused if I don't mention the future for a while. This is my attempt at a long story...I hope I can update fast...**_


	2. Clean slate

I couldn't keep the grin off my face the whole way over to Carly's house. I only had one more year left in school and I was free for the rest of my life. No more snoring through history, no more weekly principle appointments and most importantly no more tech geeks hanging around with me 24/7.

Of course this freedom was still a whole year away but none the less I was committed to making this the best year of my life. Of course Carly and Freddie are committed to getting the best results this year so unfortunately we only do iCarly once a fortnight now. Carly had wanted to go for once a month but luckily I managed to convince her to live a little.

I knocked on the Shay's door and immediately was greeted by Carly.

"It's our first day as seniors!"

"I know, how great is this year going to be"

"Real great but right now we're running late so where is Freddie?"

I sighed "Probably getting a tick bath so he's all set for his first day of school"

"Must you always make fun of me?"

Freddie had walked into the apartment wearing his usual jeans and loose shirt. As I had been for the last few weeks I was shocked at how tall he was. He was taller than Carly now and he completely towered over me. He had lost all his baby fat and although I hated to admit it he didn't look so geeky anymore.

"What? Are you telling me she wasn't giving you a tick bath?" I laughed.

He blushed slightly "That's not the point!"

"What's going to happen when you go off to college? I wouldn't be surprised if she visited every day"

"Trust me, I'm worrying too"

I giggled slightly. I will admit over the years the bickering with me and Freddie has decreased a little. Though trust me, we are nowhere near the best of friends and I have no intention of changing that fact.

"What do you have first?" Carly asked me while filling up her locker for the year.

"Eh...Art with Mrs Benson"

"Great I have that class too" Freddie sighed.

Carly rolled her eyes "You two in a class together? God, I'm glad I can't draw"

I knew she was right; it would be a horrible class. Last year we had cooking class together, I insisted that there was no difference between baking soda and flour but it turned out there was. All hell broke loose. Long story short we both got kicked out that class.

"Well we better get going Sam" Freddie told me "The bell's about to ring"

"Where do you want to sit?" I asked Freddie uninterestingly.

"Who said I wanted to sit with you"

My eyes widened a bit I quickly recovered "Well who else is going to put up with your geekiness"

"Stacy Howards"

I grimaced "Is she the one with the greasy blonde hair?"

"It's not greasy!" He said defensively "In fact I think it's pretty beautiful"

For some reason I felt like punching this Stacy girl "Well have fun sitting with Stacy, don't expect me to save you a seat when she gets sick of you"

"Whatever Sam" He said rolling his eyes and taking a seat in the front row.

I laughed it off and sat down in the back row preparing to sleep but for some reason I couldn't take my eyes off the door. Freddie was still sitting in the front his self. This Stacy girl was probably a figure of his imagination. What girl in their right minds would want to hang out with Freddie.

Just then I saw her walking through the door. She giggled and politely apologised to Mrs Benson for being late. Her blonde hair was styled like something straight out of a fashion magazine. Her smile was wide, bright and completely fake; you could tell what kind of girl she was by just looking at her, the ditsy airhead type.

She made her way to the front and sat right next to Freddie. To my utter surprise she kissed him lightly on the cheek and whispered something in his ear making him let out a fake giggle. I suddenly felt sick. I watched them whisper and giggle to each other. This was all wrong; Freddie didn't have girlfriends, or whatever this Stacy was.

Throughout the whole class I couldn't keep my eyes off the two of them. My stomach was in a knot. I didn't know what it was but I just couldn't handle seeing Freddie with this girl. If I didn't know myself I would say I was jealous but of course that was out of the question.

When class was over I slowly made my way out hoping to eavesdrop on Freddie and Stacy.

"So it was nice sitting next to you Stacy" Freddie whimpered his face bright red.

"Yeah it was "Stacy giggled. "So do you want to go to the movies tonight?"

"Oh...yeah of course, pick you up at 8?"

"See you then" She whispered kissing his cheek again.

I watched as she walked away leaving Freddie losing his balance and looking like some kind of love sick puppy.

"What was that about?" I asked him coldly.

He grinned "Well if you must know, I just got a date tonight with Stacy"

"Did she fall on her head when she was a baby or something?"

"You know something Sam?" He sighed "I'm sick of you treating me like crap. So I don't care anymore. I have a date with a very nice girl tonight and I don't have time for you and your stupid name callings!"

I blinked in shock "Whatever Freddie. I just said the truth"

He walked away and for some reason it hurt a lot more than it should have.

"He has a date tonight Carly"

Carly dropped what she was holding "Tonight! But we do iCarly tonight. We can't do it without him, you know I knew..."

"Relax Carls" I reassured her "His date's not until 8"

"Oh" She relaxed "That's ok then"

"You should see this girl though" I told her laughing "She is like some kind of model or something and she talks like she has no brains, she's a total airhead"

"Well I just think it's nice that the boy finally got a date"

"But she's completely wrong for him. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't know how to turn on a computer"

"Why do you care so much anyway?"

"I don't" I said a little too quickly "Just telling you what I saw. Freddie can date whoever he wants to"

"I'm here" Freddie called running up the stairs "Let's get this webcast on the road!"

"Someone's cheerful" Carly laughed. "Would it be because someone has a hot date tonight?"

Freddie blushed making Sam feel sick "I'm just taking it slow but done worry you'll be able to meet her soon Carly"

"Can't wait" Carly said "So if we're going to do the box bit we need to go get them from outside, Sam, would you go with Freddie to get them please?"

"Sure" I sighed not looking forward to being along with the dweeb, even if it was only for a couple of minute.

I watched him as he pressed the elevator button. He wasn't making eye contact with me. It wasn't like we hadn't had our little fights before. He would get over it soon enough. The elevator ride was quite and a little uncomfortable until I felt a sudden jolt.

"What was that?" I cried.

"Eh...I think the elevator just broke down"

This was bad. "So what are we going to do?"

"Well...there's not much we can do until Spencer and Carly realize we're stuck in here and call someone to come fix it"

"Can't you do something? I thought tech geeks could solve any problem"

He rolled his eyes "Sorry Sam but we're stuck in here until some other tech geek comes and rescues us"

"Damn and I thought once tech geek could fix all my problems, I'll have to hire another one that takes the stairs..."I joked and I could have sworn I saw a slight smile on his face.

"We better be out of here before my date tonight" He worried glancing at his watch.

My stomach jolted again and I suddenly hoped we would be in this elevator well past 8 o'clock.

"What do you like about this Stacy anyway?" The question came out of my mouth before I could stop it.

He looked surprised "Well, she's a really sweet girl"

I scoffed "Yeah and it has nothing to do with her being a dumb blonde!"

"Are you saying I'm shallow?"

"Yes! You know as well as me that this girl couldn't tell the difference between a dog and a...a...pencil!"

"That's ridiculous Sam. You don't even know her!"

"I could just tell and anyway I don't care who the hell you go out with"

"Then shut up about it!"

"You brought it up"

"Well your...stupid!"

"You're ugly!"

"WAIT!" Freddie cried "What the hell are we doing! We're yelling like a bunch of idiots in an elevator"

I looked up to see him laughing slightly and I couldn't help but joining him. It was ridiculous, we're almost adults and we were behaving like a bunch of bickering siblings.

"Why do we fight so much Sam?" He asked me taking a seat on the floor.

The question took me by surprise. I had never really thought about it before. "Well...I don't really know Freddie..." I stuttered sitting beside him.

He smiled "Do you remember when we first met?"

I chuckled at the memory "We were 6 and I pushed you off the swing and put mud on your clothes"

"Yeah...we didn't get off to the best of starts"

"Come on" I poke him slightly "You can't tell me bickering with each other hasn't been a little fun?"

He sighed "Yes but now it's getting in the way of other things, like relationships. And honestly I'm not really up to trying to top your name callings anymore"

I looked up and saw there was a slight sparkle in his eye. I knew everything he was saying was true, fighting all the time was getting tiring but a small part of her would be sad to say goodbye to that part of her life.

"So, clean slate Sam" Freddie grinned holding out his hand.

"Clean slate Freddie" I said shaking his hand.

"How longs it been now?" I ask him bored out of my mind.

"About 4 minutes after the last time you asked so that makes it 1 hour and 20 minutes"

"But I'm so bored!"

He does that funny wrinkled eye thing that means he's thinking for a moment and says "Why don't we play a game?"

"What kind of game?" I say sitting up.

"I'll start" He says excitedly. "Cake or ice cream?"

"Eh...ice cream"

"Now you go"

"Ok...movies or TV shows?"

"Movies. Cats or Dogs?"

"Dogs. Flying or driving?"

"Flying. Blondes or brunettes?"

"Blondes. Blondes or brunettes?"

"Brunettes. Me or Carly?"

"You...Wait! That's not a fair question!"

"You didn't tell me any rules" I laugh at his annoyance but deep down my heart was skipping a beat, he did say me instead of Carly, didn't he?

More and more minutes went past and I started to wonder if we would ever get out of this elevator. Surely Carly would have sent someone to come and fix it by now?

"This hasn't been too bad"

I look up "What do you mean?"

"Well of all the people I could have been stuck in here with you were the person I would have never thought I could have any fun with"

My heart dropped "Huh?"

"Well...as far as fun in an elevator goes this is pretty high in the scale"

I smiled and caught his eye "Yeah...this has been fun Freddie"

"We got you out!" Carly's voice called forcing me to look away from Freddie's gaze "And thank god you haven't murdered each other!"

"What took you so long"? I cried.

"We couldn't find a repair guy and then the one that we got kept on..."

"CRAP" I hear Freddie yell "I have to go, I can still make it if I leave now"

"Where are you going?" I asked him concerned.

He looked at me strangely "My date with Stacy. I'll see you tomorrow, bye"

Then he was out the door in a flash. Suddenly I felt that sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach again but this time I knew exactly what was wrong with me. I was in love with Freddie Benson and there was no way he could ever love me back.

_**Now that was a long chapter and its 1:01AM...I should get to sleep lol. Just thought you should know I got my inspiration for this story from a Draco/ Hermione story called **_

_**(What If You Could Have Wished Me Away by Crookshanks.x) take a look if you're a shipper or just a Harry Potter fan: D Tell me what you thought of the chapter. Bye!! **_


	3. Silent love

I chucked my jacket on the floor, it didn't matter because my mum would be out anyway. Carly and I had tried to do iCarly without Freddie but I couldn't concentrate. I had to tell Carly I had a sore stomach so I could get home, I needed to think. It wasn't every day you hit the realization that you were in love with your best friend.

Love. What did that mean anyway? It wasn't like I'd ever been in love before. Maybe I had this completely wrong and I had in fact mixed up love with hate. Though whenever I think back I know inside that I never really hated Freddie, sure we argued but in a way it was a silent game we used to play with each other. Thinking back I guess it's been coming for a long time. Recently I've noticed the colour of his eyes, the way he has grown over the years and the little things, like when he scrunches up his nose when he thinks or the way his smile always lightens up the room. But surely I could never be in love with Freddie Benson...could I?

All this thinking was hurting my head, I needed some ham...or some bacon...or even a steak. Somehow through all this thinking I had ended up on my bed with my head on the pillow. I decided to sleep on it and maybe I would wake up and all these feelings I was having for Freddie was have just evaporated. Though I was beginning to wonder, did I want them to disappear? I began to feel my eyelids closing and gave in to the temptation of sleep immediately with the image of Freddie's grinning face stuck in the back of my mind...

"Knock, Knock"

"Knock, Knock"

"Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock"

"SAM!!"

I woke up startled. There was somebody at the door. I looked at the clock and saw it was 11pm, who in the world would be bothering me at this time. I slowly made my way to the door getting startled by how loud the voice shouting "SAM!"was becoming. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Freddie!" I screeched. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Freddie looked up sheepishly and shrugged "Eh...I don't really know"

Ignoring the way my heart was pounding I continued my usual attitude "Well come in, or do you want to stand out in the hall like an idiot"

He shook his head and made his way inside muttering things like "I shouldn't have come" and "What was I thinking?"

I couldn't believe that he just turned up at my door. I resisted that urge to ask how his date went and gestured for his to sit on the sofa. He never comes to my house; in fact I don't even think he's ever been here. I noticed that he was fidgeting with his fingers and looking around nervously and I couldn't help but think how cute he looked at that moment.

"So...why are you here?" I asked taking a seat next to him.

"I...I...don't know exactly"

"Okay, so is it something to do with your date with Stacy?"

He took a deep breath and said "Kind of. I mean we had a great time and everything."

My heart dropped. He had a great time on his date, just great. I laughed silently to think that at the back of my mind I thought he had came here for me...

"But I couldn't stop thinking about you. I mean...in the elevator...we had a great time and everything...I know this is stupid but I just had to come here, I couldn't stop my self...it was like something was calling me to you..."

"Me? Freddie, we hate each other!" I stuttered struggling to keep up my tough attitude. I didn't know what to do. I was too shocked to think straight, the boy I was in love with just told me he couldn't stop thinking about me.

"I've never hated you Sam..." He said and for some reason he was smiling now "I thought you knew we just fight for...fun, I guess"

"Yeah...I guess I don't hate you either..." I said trying to hold in my smile.

He stood up suddenly as he seemed to realize something "I can't believe I never noticed it before. It was always you I thought about...even if it was about how much I hated you."

"Freddie! What are you talking about?" I said confused.

"Don't you see, Sam" He said throwing his hands up "You can't tell me you haven't noticed the change in our relationship in the past years. I didn't realize it until I was sitting with a beautiful girl who really likes me but all I could think about was you!"

"What are you saying" I breathed.

He looked up and in the most impulsive, fast, ridiculously risky move I had ever seen Freddie Benson make he kissed me. It was like a sudden bolt of lightning had entered my body, our lips collided and in an instant I felt they belonged together. I lost all common sense and concentrated on only moving my lips with his.

We parted lost for breath.

"You're still a dork you know?" I laughed punching him lightly on the shoulder.

He grinned "And your buts still shaped like a ham"

I gasped "You've been looking at my but?"

His eyes widened "No Sam, I was only joking. In fact you have a very but...not that I was looking..."

"Relax dork" I giggled "I was kidding"

He breathed out "So what does this mean?"

"I don't know..."

Freddie began fidgeting with his hands again "I...I...think it means we're a couple"

"Weird!" I laughed.

"Yeah...so...what do you think people will say when they hear?" Freddie said.

I hadn't thought about that. This had all happened way too fast, I had only just realized I liked Freddie and now we were a couple.

"What if we don't tell anyone...just yet" Freddie said looking as if he had just offended me.

"I like the way you think Freddork" I laughed.

"Since we're a couple now...can you stop calling me those names?"

I gasped faking being shocked "No way! It's a tradition"

He smirked "Yeah, I guess we wouldn't be Freddie and Sam without you're horribleness"

"You better get home, your mum will be worried" I told his shoving him out the door.

"Yeah, your right" He said. "But before I go.."

He kissed me again. This time with so much passion I almost lost my balance.

"I could get used to this" I breathed.

He grinned, winked and walked out the door with a wave. I turned around and leaned against the doorway in shock. There were butterflies in my stomach. I just kissed Freddie Benson...twice. I felt happier than I had felt in a long time.

I walked into the iCarly studio the next day with a grin on my face that I just couldn't get rid of. We had decided to do iCarly today as we had missed it the night before. I could hardly sleep thinking of Freddie. What was it going to be like lying to Carly? I knew it couldn't be worse than actually telling her about us, I could just imagine the look on her face.

"What's with all the happiness from you two?" Carly asked both Freddie and I.

I caught Freddie's eye for a second and saw he was grinning too. I walked towards him and whispered "We need to act like we hate each other!" so low that Carly would never be able to hear it.

"Sam! Your stupid hair is getting in the way of my view!" Freddie yelled at me. I looked up only to see a twinkle in his eye.

"Yeah, well your geekieness is getting in the way of my life!" I yelled moving closer to him.

"You smell like ham!"

"You're so ugly it hurts my eyes!"

"I hate you!"

"I hate you more!"

Then all of a sudden I realized how close we were to each other. I was looking straight into his eyes; I felt the sudden urge to kiss him but held back the temptation.

"Goodness!" I heard Carly yell "What's gotten into you guys? Just when I had noticed you didn't fight much anymore you go and do this! I'm going for a soda, don't kill each other!"

The second Carly left I burst out into a git of giggles.

"Now that was great acting!" Freddie laughed.

"Yeah" I said "But do you think we went a bit over the top?"

He shrugged "At least she doesn't suspect anything"

"You know" I whispered in case Carly could somehow hear "This could be fun, all this sneaking around. Like the beauty that is in love with the dork..."

"I'm not a dork!" Freddie sighed "I just like technical things...wait! In love?"

I froze. That was that, my happiness was over. I had just ruined my chance with Freddie and I had thought it just might work as well. I guess it was good while it lasted...until I told him that I loved him after less than 24 hours of dating.

"Sam!" He said "Relax! I just didn't know you felt as strongly for me as I do for you"

I looked up "You...love me?"

"Always have" He grinned "Just didn't realize it before."

I leaned in to kiss him when suddenly Carly came through the doors.

"I hate you Freddie!" I screamed.

"I hate you more Sam!" Freddie screamed back even louder.

"God" I heard Carly sigh "Will these two ever get along!"

I giggled silently and caught Freddie's eye. If only she knew the truth.


	4. Time goes by

Time flew by. Before I knew it I had been dating Freddie for almost a year and we were as strong as ever before. After a couple of months we decided to tell everyone about us but when it came down to it we couldn't risk losing what we had.

_I felt Freddie squeezing his hands over mine._

"_Let's just get this over with" I breathed._

"_Yeah, telling Carly about us will be the hard part and then everything can go back to normal" _

_I laughed "Yeah, like the past 2 months have been normal" _

_He grinned "I don't know. Sneaking around with you has been pretty fun!" _

"_Yeah, like when we had to pretend to Carly that I head butted you because she walked in on us kissing!" _

_He chuckled "I can't believe she fell for that!" _

_I couldn't help looking back at the past few months. We had such a great time together. Sure at first it had been a little weird dating Freddie but soon it became almost natural. Maybe the reason it was so perfect was because it was just us, no judging friends to tell us what we can and can't do._

"_Freddie" I asked fiddling with my fingers "Do you really want to tell everyone?" _

_He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment and then said "Do you think it would change everything if we told everyone?" _

"_I don't know...is it worth the risk?" _

_He sighed. "To be honest I'm not particularly excited about it"_

"_Me neither" I said "In fact, I'm kind of dreading it" _

"_So I guess we're still a secret couple?"_

"_At least for now" I said quickly stealing a kiss before entering the Shay's apartment and preparing to hate Freddie again. _

We tried a couple more times after that to tell everyone again but the same reasons came up and we decided on keeping it a secret at least until we finished school.

It didn't matter anyway. We were perfectly happy with no one knowing. At first it had been hard but we had found some ways around it, like the dating aspect.

"_Where are you two going?" _

_We froze. Carly had caught us making our way out of Freddie's apartment. _

"_Eh..." I muttered "We're...going to...do some...a...school project" _

_Carly crinkled her face "What project?" _

_Freddie turned bright red "For...cooking..." _

"_Our school doesn't have a kitchen" Carly said folding her arms. _

_I nudged him hard "He means for science. We have that class together and Mrs Watson gave us a project on the human body. We have to go out for supplies then we're going to work on it at my house" _

"_Oh" Carly said seeming happy with the excuse "I'll see you later then"_

_Once she was out of site I hit Freddie on the head hard "Cooking? You almost gave us away!" _

"_I'm sorry!" He said looking scared "I stink under pressure" _

"_Just forget it!" I said rolling my eyes "Let's just go on this 'date'" _

_He grinned "Should I be worried you're suck a good liar?" _

"_Yes, you should. Now let's get going" I said "And if anyone asks we're at this movie for research for iCarly" _

"_What if they see us making out in the back row?" He smiled cheekily. _

_I put on my best shocked expression "Who says I'm going to make out with you"_

"_You know you can't resist me" He stated. _

"_Yeah that sweater vest you're wearing is a real turn on!" I said sarcastically._

"_You know my mum makes me wear them because she's afraid my stomach and shoulders will get a cold!" _

"_You're such a dork" I giggled. _

"_You're the one who's dating me!" _

"_I guess you're right" I joked "You're officially dumped. Bye." _

_He sighed "Are you coming or not Sam?" _

"_Coming" I laughed "But if you think we're making out in the back row you're wrong!" _

_On the way out I could have sworn I heard him cough 'We'll see about that'. Though this time I chose to ignore it because now that Freddie was my boyfriend I had to be a little nicer to him, of course I did 'accidently' push him down the stairs. But I don't think he noticed it was me so I counted that as an improvement._

Though our relationship the past year hasn't been straight sailing. We have had our ups and downs but at the end of the day I think it made us stronger. Now that was cheesy, do you see what being with the dork has done to me?

_I ran out of Carly's apartment trying desperately to hold them in, with no luck. The tears were streaming down my face so fast that the second I got out of the door. My body began to shake and I could feel myself sobbing. I took a seat on the curb and put my face in my hands unable to control my tears. I couldn't have let Carly see me like this, she's seen me cry over silly things but this was different. This was a weakness. I don't know how long I sat there alone._

_Suddenly I felt warm hands covering me, holding me close. I looked up and caught a glimpse of Freddie's face. I knew I should pull away and pretend I wasn't breaking down inside but something was telling me to stay in his arms. _

_Sobs suddenly erupted out of me. Tears fell from my face onto his shirt making it soaking wet. I could hear his soft words of comfort and surprisingly they dried my tears slightly. _

"_Freddie" I choked "It's...my mum...she's just..."_

"_You don't have to explain" _

_And I didn't. I just lay my head against his shoulders and let the tears fall from my face. I had let my guard down and I knew it was for the better. _

Months went past and things were going better than either one of us could have imagined. Senior prom came and we both happily decided to miss it and go somewhere together instead. Though that night did not go as planned, in fact it was the end of our relationship.

**AN: I decided to recap the growth in their relationship through memories...I don't know if it worked but I just thought it would be easier than describing a whole year. There's another chapter before we go back to the reunion! Hope you enjoyed it! Please review! **


	5. Crash

**Previously on You Can't Erase the Past**** (lol) - ****Time flew by. Before I knew it I had been dating Freddie for almost a year and we were as strong as ever before... Months went past and things were going better than either one of us could have imagined. Senior prom came and we both happily decided to miss it and go somewhere together instead. Though that night did not go as planned, in fact it was the end of our relationship.**

It was the night of senior prom, I was full of excitement. Of course I had no intention of actually going to the prom. Freddie had told me that he has a huge surprise for me; I was to meet him at his place tonight. Everything seemed to be falling into place, for the first time in my life things were going right.

"It's prom night!" Carly said for the 10th time that night.

"I know Carly" I heard Freddie sigh as he rolled his eyes at me.

"I'm just so excited" She grinned "I can't believe you two aren't going!"

"Prom isn't my thing Carly" I told her.

"Me neither" Freddie said.

"Yeah but you both haven't had dates in like...a year!"

I chuckled slightly not making eye contact with Freddie.

"It's not funny" exclaimed Carly "Both of you need to get dates. What about that girl that you liked a while ago...Stacy something..."

My stomach jolted, Stacy Howards. That dumb girl Freddie had been out just before we had started dating. Of course he had ditched her to come to find me but that didn't make me hate her any less.

"I don't want to date anyone Carly!" Freddie said winking at me.

Carly sighed "What about you Sam? Didn't Jamie Nelson ask you out a couple of weeks ago? "

I giggled as I caught Freddie stiffening "He's a jerk"

"No he's really sweet and he thinks you're hot Sam" She winked at me.

I chuckled as Freddie turned green "Relax Carly. I'm definitely not looking to date anyone just now and you are not setting us up! "

She grimaced "Fine, I've got to get ready so Freddie, I need you to go away"

"Alright" Freddie said "You coming too Sam?"

"Yeah dork" I smiled "Have fun at prom Carly"

Carly grinned "I will"

"So, who is this Jack guy?" Freddie whispered to me his arms crossed as we walked out of Carly's apartment.

"Jamie Nelson. He's in my Spanish class, why?" I asked ignoring his obvious jealousy.

"Do you...like him?" He asked nervously.

I giggled. "Yeah, I was thinking of asking him out actually"

"Really?"

"No you dork" I smiled hitting on the arm lightly "I love you"

He quickly recovered "Yeah...I know. I was just messing with you, pretending to be all jealous"

I giggled "Of course you were"

"So, it's killing you that you don't know what I've got planned tonight. Isn't it?

I sighed "Yes! Please, please tell me?"

He put his hand to my lips making me shiver a little "You'll just have to wait until tonight Sam"

I made a face at him and leaned in to kiss him. Just when he happily responded I pulled back.

"No kissing until you tell me" I told him.

"Sam" He groaned "Must you be so evil?

"Yes, until you tell me" I moaned.

"Tonight at 7pm" He said stealing a kiss on my cheek.

"Fine" I huffed "But this better be good!"

"You'll love it" He assured me. "Now, go get ready, I'll see you in a couple of hours"

"Yeah, see you"

"I'll miss you" He called from behind.

"You're so cheesy, I'll be back soon" I rolled my eyes.

"Love you" He smiled.

"Yeah, I love you too"

I couldn't help but feel lighter than air. I was so excited about what Freddie had planned for tonight. I was hoping it involved food, hopefully ham...or pork...maybe even a steak. Though whatever it was I wouldn't really care. As long as I was with him I would be happy...though ham would make it even better...

The second I got home I started to plan what to wear. Usually I didn't put too much effort into my clothes for Freddie but tonight was special. I decided on a dress Carly had forced me to buy last year, who knew it would come in handy. I styled my hair its usual way; Freddie always said he liked it that way. I looked in the mirror and took a deep breath. Tonight was going to be perfect. Time flew by and after quickly eating some left over Indian food from the night before just in case the surprise involved no food I was ready to go. I had to get the bus because my mum was nowhere in sight, I'll admit I looked a little strange taking the bus with a skimpy red dress on.

My heart was beating faster as I got to Freddie's apartment. I quickly listened at Carly's door to make sure she had left for prom; I could only hear Spencer talking to one of his sculptures so I assumed she had. Just as I turned to open Freddie's door not bothering to knock I heard giggling. I stopped. Freddie had assured me his mum was away for the weekend checking the college that Freddie had picked for 'germs'. Freddie definitely did not giggle like that so who could that be? I pushed all crazy thoughts out of my head; it was probably just the TV.

I opened the door. My heart stopped. Everything fell apart. I felt like someone had just punched me in the gut with a football, I wish they had. I would've been better than this.

Freddie's lips were placed on a blonde head that looked exactly like Stacy Howards. They were sitting on the sofa pretty comfortably. He looked up in shock. His eyes made contact with mine and all I could see was guilt and pity. I stood there trying to comprehend what had just happened. Freddie, my Freddie had just cheated on me with Stacy Howards.

"What...What...Freddie..."I stuttered trying to find my voice over the huge lump that was hurting my throat.

He got up in an instant and ran over to me "Sam! You don't understand. She just..."

"I don't want to know Freddie!" I shouted suddenly feeling more anger towards him than I could ever thought possible.

"Please Sam, listen" He pleaded.

For a second I looked in his chocolate eyes and saw the past year replaying in my mind. It had been the best year in my life and it was all because of him. I could see tears beginning to fall down his face and for a moment I felt pity. Then I saw her, she had a slight grin on her face that she was trying to mask by covering her mouth in shock. It brought me back to reality. My boyfriend had just kissed another girl. There was no going back after that.

"I never want to see you again Freddie!" I yelled trying to hold in the tears that were slowly escaping "Have a great life"

"Please!" Freddie called desperately "I can't lose you Sam"

"You just have" I whispered giving his one last glance and slamming the door in his face letting the tears fall free.

How could he do this to me? Just hours ago he had told me he loved me. This wasn't the Freddie I knew. He wouldn't do this to me. But he did.

I left without saying a word. I just closed the door. I couldn't stand to look at him. I never wanted to see him again. I felt like I was going to vomit. I got home and packed up all my things. I needed to leave. Leave school, leave my mum, leave this city but most importantly leave Freddie. I didn't know where I was going but I didn't matter. Everything had just fallen apart in front of me and I couldn't stand to stay in the ruins.

So I left and I didn't see Freddie for another 10 years.

**How sad ******** Poor Sam. Next chapter will go back to the reunion, if you can't remember what that is go to chapter 1 lol. Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed put on favourites and alerts. Reviews are much appreciated, please tell me what you thought ******


	6. Forgiveness

"Wow...Sam...I...I...never knew" Carly stuttered placing a reassuring hand on her friend's shoulder.

"It's not your fault" Sam said tears streaming down her face "I did everything I could to cover up what happened"

"But I'm your best friend!" Carly sighed "I should have known something was up when you suddenly went to live with your Dad and missed the last couple of months of school"

"Seriously Carly, this isn't your fault. It's Freddie's." Sam said quietly.

"I just...I don't believe Freddie would do that to you" Carly said.

"Well he did" Sam said her voice becoming stronger "And there's no way I can see him again"

Carly sighed "But don't you think you should talk to him..."

"No!" Sam almost shouted "It's been 10 years Carly. He probably forgot all about it"

"But Sam, maybe if you just knew why he did it then you could finally move on with your life" Carly reasoned.

"I have moved on" Sam said a little weakly.

"From where I'm standing Sam" Carly said carefully "You still love him"

Sam looked at her best friend's concerned face. In a way it felt right that she finally knew but it also meant she had to deal with something she hated the most; pity.

"I...I just want to go home Carly" Sam breathed.

This was too much for her to handle. Luckily she could no longer see Freddie outside which made it a little easier. One part of her wanted to go up to him and demand a reason for what he did, another wanted to murder him but deep down a rather large part of her wanted to be able to kiss him again, the way she had done so long ago.

"If you're sure Sam" Carly said wearily.

"I'm sure"

She wasn't. Sam continued to peer at the front door of the school as Carly started the car. If she could just see his face again then maybe she would know what to do. Sam couldn't help but think that he was probably inside introducing his new wife to all their old classmates. She was ashamed that she even cared about him after all this time, any normal person would have completely forgotten about it by now.

"SAM!"

Sam turned around. She saw him.

"SAM! STOP THE CAR! CARLY!"

It was Freddie. He was just steps away from the car. He had a look of desperation on his face. Just hearing his voice again was making Sam's heart beat a thousand times.

"Sam!" Carly cried "What do you want to do?"

Sam glanced at Carly's face and then at Freddie who was now making his way to the car. She could see his chocolate eyes pleading for her to get out of the car. Then she remembered the last time she saw those eyes. She couldn't do it. He had cheated on her and there was no going back from that. Even after 10 years.

"Drive Carly" She whispered.

"Are you sure? I mean..."

"DRIVE!" Sam shouted.

Then they left. Sam took one last glace a Freddie. She tried to be angry at him, she tried to imagine hitting him over the head with a bat but instead all she could feel was guilt, for running away.

Just like she had done all those years ago.

**-You can't erase the past-**

Sam immediately reached for the ribs that were in her fridge. This was a time for ribs, some girls liked ice-cream but old habits die hard and desperate time call for large portions of meat dipped in barbecue sauce.

After catching Freddie cheating on her Sam had packed up everything and moved to New York to stay with her Dad. Up until tonight she thought starting a whole new life after Freddie was the best decision she ever made. She focused on her study at college (hard to believe, right?) and eventually all the memories she had of Freddie had disappeared and that was the way she liked it.

Though seeing him again tonight was too much for her to handle. It brought back feeling that had long ago been swept miles under the carpet. She now remembered his laugh, his goofy smile, his dorky habits, his touch. All the things that made her love him were back fresh in her memory and the feeling of the complete and utter heart break she felt after leaving him had returned.

Parts of her wanted to see him to ask him why he did it. She had often wondered if it was her fault, had she done something to offend him. Something inside still tells her that he would never do that to her, that what she and Freddie had was love and what she saw was not Freddie's fault. Though it was silly trying to soften it up, Freddie Benson had kissed another girl and there was no other explanation.

Sighing Sam kicked off her shoes, grabbed some ham from the kitchen and lay down to watch TV. She found herself unusually not being able to concentrate on the screen. Everywhere she looked was his face, his eyes, his hair and she could still hear him calling her name. Was it possible that Freddie had missed her? That he wanted her and that he was sorry? Was that why he was calling her name?

Sam shook her head. She couldn't think like that, Freddie and her were over forever and the sooner she accepted that the better. Sam decided that trying to get some sleep was probably the best idea, she needed to get away from any thoughts Freddie related.

Sam closed her eyes but as soon as she started to drift off slightly she was startled to hear someone knocking the door.

She groaned, it was probably Carly checking in to see if she had killed herself or not. Of course Carly had every right to be worried but sometimes Sam just wanted to be left in peace.

"Carly. It's ok. I told you I'm not suicidal" Sam began as she opened the door but her face soon turned white as it was not Carly at the door. It was Freddie.

"Sam!" Freddie said breathlessly "I've knocked on every door in your building, thank god I found you"

"What...what...why are you here?" She stuttered trying to process that he was in fact standing in her hallway.

"I need to talk to you" Freddie said nervously "Can I...come in?"

Sam looked at him. Looking at him close up she could see that he still had the same features, he was still Freddie, just a lot taller and although she didn't want to admit it, a lot hotter. Though she knew she couldn't think about him like that, not anymore.

"Why are you here?" Sam asked again her voice raising.

Freddie looked taken back "Well...I thought we could talk, about what happened"

"You cheated on me" Sam whispered before she could stop herself.

Freddie's eyes softened "Sam. I know it looked bad but I swear she kissed me!"

"What!" Sam breathed. This was the excuse that she had been hoping to hear for the past 10 years? After all this time all he could say was she kissed me.

"I want you to understand that I would never do anything to hurt you!" He told her his voice cracking with emotion.

Everything was silent for a moment. This was all happening too fast. It seemed like forever that Sam and Freddie stayed in silence staring at each other, trying to find the right words.

"You did hurt me" She whispered quietly not sure why she was telling him this.

"I know" He sighed seeming glad that she silence was broken. "All I can say is that I made a mistake"

Sam heart leapt and for a moment she thought that she would be able to forgive him and maybe they could go back to what they had before.

"Forgive me?" He asked smiling sheepishly.

Then Sam realized that she couldn't do this. She was not going to turn into one of those girls that just let a man control her. Freddie just expects to show up and all of a sudden for her to forgive him. It took a long time for Sam to forget and she was sure as hell it was going to take a lot longer to forgive.

"GET OUT!" Sam shouted at him pointing to the exit.

The anger was spilling out of her before she could stop it. Everything that had been bottled up for so long seemed to be escaping. Now looking at Freddie she could see nothing but the pain he had caused her.

"Please Sam" Freddie pleaded "Let me explain"

"I said GET OUT!" She screamed back at him.

"Listen! I just want to..."

"DONT YOU DARE!" Sam yelled at him now unable to hold in the words that was coming out of her "We had everything. I loved you and I was pretty sure you loved me too but you ruined that! You CHEATED on me! We were together for a year and you go and kiss another girl while you were waiting on me! You can't just show up and tell me crap about how she kissed me. I saw you kissing her back and to me that 's all that matters"

"Sam, I just want..." Freddie said desperately.

"No!" Sam said failing to hold in tears "You had other chances to come and find me, to win me back. I have moved on Freddie! It was 10 year ago! We're not silly little teenagers anymore, this is the real world and you can't just barge in here and expect me to forgive you and fall into your arms!"

Freddie took a step back "Ok Sam...I just thought that maybe...you still wanted ...us"

Sam's expression turned cold "I don't"

Her heart broke into pieces when she saw tears start to fall down Freddie's cheeks. She had broken him, just like he had done to her. Part of her wanted him to feel the pain she had felt. It was terrible but true.

He turned to leave and just as Sam had began to shut the door he pushed it back open with a look of determination on his face.

"You know what Sam!" He stated.

Then he kissed her. It was short but it sent electric currents all the way through Sam's body. His lips felt so soft against hers, it took her back. She had to use everything she not to grab in again when he pulled away.

"I love you Sam!" He cried after pulling away from her lips "I made the biggest mistake of my life the day I kissed Stacy. The past 10 years have been a misery without you, when I found out you had gone I fell apart. You may have been able to move on from me but I will NEVER move on from you."

"I will do anything to have you again, anything. I would jump off a bridge, I would murder my own cat and I would even smash my computer if you asked me to! You are everything. You are my life Sam. I will not rest until I have won you back! I have gone 10 years without you and I am not about to go 10 more"

"I'm going get you back Sam. If it' the last thing I do."

Then he left. Sam froze still holding her hand to the lips he had not long ago kissed. Everything he had said was in a blur. He still wanted her. He still loved her. He was going to win her back.

The only problem was Sam wasn't sure if she wanted him to win her back. He had hurt her before, who's to say he wouldn't do it again?


	7. Fairytales

**Previously on You can't erase the past: ****"No!" Sam said failing to hold in tears "You had other chances to come and find me, to win me back. I have moved on Freddie! It was 10 year ago! We're not silly little teenagers anymore, this is the real world and you can't just barge in here and expect me to forgive you and fall into your arms!"......... "I love you Sam!" He cried after pulling away from her lips "I made the biggest mistake of my life the day I kissed Stacy. The past 10 years have been a misery without you, when I found out you had gone I fell apart. You may have been able to move on from me but I will NEVER move on from you."........ "I'm going get you back Sam. If it' the last thing I do."........**

It was too late. He couldn't just turn up like life was some fairytale and expect her to fall into his arms and ride off with him into the sunset on his white horse. This wasn't some Disney movie where there was always a happy ending, this is the real world and fairytales don't happen.

That's what Sam kept telling herself. That she was totally right to have let Freddie go and she was better off without him. Though somehow no matter how many cons she could think of against getting back together with Freddie, the one pro she found overtook the cons by miles.

_She still loved him. _

"Sam! Are you ok? You weren't answering your phone"

Carly's voice rang through her ears as she opened the door for her friend. Immediately Carly wrapped her in a hug asking how she was.

"I'm fine" Sam lied "Perfect actually"

Carly frowned "Freddie came to see me last night"

Sam's heart skipped a beat "What?"

"Yeah" Carly sighed "He kept asking me to tell him everything you loved so he could buy you them. I think he's trying to win you back"

"I know" Sam said quietly "He came here asking for forgiveness"

Carly gasped "Sam! Is he here? Did you forgive him?"

"What? No Carly" Sam cried "I told him that he's too late. That I'd moved on"

Carly placed a hand on Sam's shoulder "But Sam...It's not too late. You haven't moved on"

Sam sighed in thrust ration throwing herself on the sofa "Don't you think I know that Carly!"

"So...why did you turn him away?"

"Because...because...I can't just suddenly forgive him"

"Why not?" Carly asked sitting down beside Sam.

"What's with all the questions" Sam cried "You're supposed to agree with me!"

"I'm just making sure your doing the right thing" Carly said. "I just want you to be happy Sam and from where I'm standing without Freddie...you're not happy"

"Just shut up Carly" Sam sighed "I know what's best for me."

"Do you love him?" Carly asked.

"Carly...That's not..."

"Do you love him?" Carly said stronger.

Sam looked up and said weakly "Yes"

"Then why did you turn him away?"

"Because..."Sam began but she couldn't find the words.

Carly was right and she knew it. Sam loved Freddie and the only reason she didn't forgive him for cheating on her was because she was scared, of getting hurt again.

"I know Freddie did something terrible but that was 10 years ago Sam" Carly told her.

"I know but..."

"When he came to see me last night...it was like he was broken without you. He's sorry Sam; I could see it in his eyes"

Sam could feel the tears coming down her face "But...what if he hurts me again?"

Carly's face softened and she embraced her friend "I know you're scared but do you really believe he would ever do anything to hurt you again?"

"No" Sam choked. She knew Carly was right. Deep down she never really believed Freddie would have purposely done anything to hurt her.

Carly smiled pulling Sam out at arm's length "He's staying in number 46 at the Hilton hotel at 26 Seddie Street. Are you going to stay here and drown your sorrows in meat or are you going to go and win him back?

"I...I...I'm going to...win him back" Sam stuttered.

Carly grinned "Do you want a lift?"

"No" Sam said "This is something I have to do on my own"

"Ok" Carly said giving her friend a hug before saying goodbye.

Sam didn't know what she was doing. Before she knew it she was getting dressed and ready to go out the door. Every part of her screamed out for her to go back to crying over a leg of ham but somehow she couldn't bring herself to stop. She was going to get Freddie back and nothing was going to stop her, not even herself.

**You can't erase the past –**

"Number 42...43...44...45...46"

Her heart was beating ten times faster; she was doing everything in her power to stop herself from running back to the car. What would he say? Would he even take her back? Just the night before she had told him that she had moved on, that she never wanted to see him again. Now she was showing up at his hotel wanting him back.

Sam took a deep breath and knocked three times. The door opened to reveal a very confused looking Freddie.

"Sam" He gasped "What are you doing here?"

She tried to find the right words to say to him. To say the words that would tell him that she wasn't desperate but still wanted him. She needed to say the right thing but after a moments struggle for words all she could think of was:

"I love you"

_AN: Sorry it's been so long since I updated and sorry for the cliff hanger. Also sorry for the "Seddie Street" I couldn't help myself lol. I was listening to Taylor Swift, White horse at the start...I stole some lines from that...haha...anyways thanks for reading :D _


	8. Happily ever after

**An: sorry its been so long since I've updated but I got a macbook (yeah!) and only just figured out how to do a text document. It's the last chapter!! I can't believe I just finished an 8 chapter story! And it was just my 2 year anniversary on this site, yeah!! Thanks so much for all the views and reviews, I appreciate it so much :D **

_**Previously on You cant erase the past:**_

"_**Number 42...43...44...45...46".....Her heart was beating ten times faster; she was doing everything in her power to stop herself from running back to the car. What would he say? Would he even take her back? Just the night before she had told him that she had moved on, that she never wanted to see him again. Now she was showing up at his hotel wanting him back......Sam took a deep breath and knocked three times. The door opened to reveal a very confused looking Freddie.**_

"_**Sam" He gasped "What are you doing here?"**_

_**She tried to find the right words to say to him. To say the words that would tell him that she wasn't desperate but still wanted him. She needed to say the right thing but after a moments struggle for words all she could think of was:**_

"_**I love you"**_

**-You can't erase the past-**

"I love you"

It wasn't often that Sam acted spontaneously when it came to something like love. Though at the time it just seemed like the only way to stop herself from closing up, she thought it would be better to just get straight to the point.

She was never one for fairy tales, it wasn't like she expected to show up and everything would all of a sudden become happy ever after but she had to admit that she expected more than the look of utter shock that had been plastered on Freddie's face every since she had last said those three words.

"What?" She said trying to sound confident "You just going to stand there like a fish with your mouth open not saying anything?"

Freddie closed his mouth "Sam...I...don't know...about us"

He didn't know? Wasn't it just less than 24 hours that he had been the one on her doorstep declaring that he was in love with her! It was one of those moments in live when you feel like just curling up and a ball and dying of embarrassment.

Seeing Sam's face fall Freddie quickly tried to recover "No I mean....I want to be with you Sam....more than anything but...look, you said that you couldn't risk getting hurt again. But Sam, I'm the one doesn't want to risk ever hurting you again"

Sam sighed "Are you going to hurt me again?"

"No. I would never make that mistake again" Freddie told her confidently.

"Then, I believe you" Sam said taking his hand.

Freddie smiled "Sam, I know I've said it before but I just want you to know how sorry I am for what happened"

"Shhh" Sam hushed "I don't want to hear that again. Let's just...start again and take things slowly"

"How slow are we talking here?'' Freddie joked but quickly stopped laughing when his arm was hit by a very hard fist.

"Ouch..." He moaned holding his arm "I see you're still as violent as I remember"

"And are you still as much as a dork as I remember"

"Well I don't want to brag" He said "But I did just create a new database that allows offices to successfully order their...."

Sam laughed "Just what I thought, you're even dorkier than I remember!"

"Hey!" He grinned "Don't pretend my tech talk doesn't turn you on"

Sam blushed "I guess you still know me too well...even after 10 years"

"I still have a lot to learn, I've missed a lot of you're life" Freddie sighed.

"I've missed a lot too"

He grinned his smile that Sam loved "I guess we have the rest of our lives to catch up"

"That was so cheesy"

"You know you love me"

"Dork"

"Stupid"

"Geek"

"You're so annoying"

"You know you love me!"

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Does this taking it slow thing rule out...me kissing you?"

"What do you think?"

And she leaned in and kissed him.

It wasn't a fairy tale, Sam knew that, but it was pretty damn close.

**-The End-**


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